Monthly Archives: November 2011

Get your head ..

… out of your ASS !

Here is a truth.

I will spend hours upon hours researching and reading up on training plans, fitness, trail running. Reading blogs. But when it comes to my body and health and doing the stuff that I’m supposed to be doing…I’m lazy.  Really lazy !

Having Weight Loss Surgery was the easy part.  Breaking old habits…not so easy.  There are a few things that I’m supposed to be doing for the rest of my life.  When I start to feel not so well…it’s then that I start evaluating these things.  ” Ahhh…I’m cold and tired. Guess I will start taking my iron.”

Being 13 months out and have lost my weight it’s easy to forget all the stuff that I’m supposed to be doing.  But I can’t.  I need to refocus.  I will whine a moment and say’s a bit overwhelming with all of the supplements you need to take.  And when to take them.  And in what combination is allowed and not.  Aspirin ok ? Time released medication ? NyQuil ? Gel Capsules ? All of this stuff I would need to refer to my owner’s manual that I got when I purchased my new tiny belly ( besides the Time released medication, because I just read the answer on another blog 😉   So I just opt out of it all. Much easier that way.

Water. Another topic that I’m an expert on. << Seriously, I really do think that I am.  And I have the yellow urine to prove it ! Don’t drink 30 minutes before meals…OR 30 minutes after meals. With sleeping, eating, and then drinking coffee the other 12 hours of the day …leaves little time to get my water in.  I’m contemplating << this means it’s a big FAT MAYBE …that I might stop drinking coffee at noon.  ( except for weekends of course! )To make for more time to get my water in.  I’ve been feeling a bit crappy as of lately…and really couldn’t put my finger on it, besides of course it being very uncomfortable walking around with my head in my rear.  As I dug into the symptoms of dehydration…I was amazed at all the symptoms I have.  Of course most of the symptoms were the same as being deficient in most of my supplements, and about a hundred different diseases…. but I’m chalking these symptoms up to .. needing to get my shit together!! What a simple fix! I just need to do it.

Things that I’m supposed to have been doing and ” haven’t been doing very well at. ”

– Drinking my water 64 oz ( need to check the manual on this ). I’ve been drinking NONE

–  Taking my supplements.  Multi-vitamin and B12 . I rock!

– Taking my Calcium, Iron, Vitamin C… well … not so rocking.

– Protein Drink everyday.  4/5 out of 7 days .. kinda ..not so horribly bad?

– Go to support group meetings ?  … well tomorrow is a new day, right ?

– Get blood work done. After 3 months, 6 months, a year? … definitely my New Years Resolution!

Here it is ..I have just laid it all out there for the world to see.  I’m going to do better…and I’ve started today!

bending over and starting to pull…” 

** Note – no comments from friends, family and loved ones on this post. Thank you 🙂 

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Serve me up a Slice…

… of Humble Pie.

Trying to figure out the best way to cross train and get into some type of schedule.  ( Something tells me this might be a long ongoing process ) My shins are still feeling my Thanksgiving 8 mile run.  So I decided to try something new today.  I had always wanted to try a Spinning Class.  What better time than the present?

Here’s where I should be served up a slice…

Over this past year I’ve lost 125 lbs.  As a fat girl all of my life…to a thinner version… it’s a whole new world.  Little, simple things that average sized people take for granted, are like new gifts everyday.  Wearing a belt, tucking in a shirt , Running without massive boob pain afterwards…the list is never ending.  All of the things that I never experienced, along with settling into my new body…takes a toll on your stride…your walk.  Yes, your walk.  I walk a little taller.  My shoulders back and my head a bit higher.  I make eye contact. Then…throw in completing a half marathon? Well….I might add a little shake to my strut.  Why do I tell you this? Because it’s the truth..a realization.  And well …because I know none of you, and can say so with no shame or embarrassment.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t believe for a second that I’m full of myself or better than anyone.  But … I’m guessing I started to have a more than a tiny  tiny bit of an unrealistic athletic perception of myself.  ” well…Yes, I did just run the Philly half marathon.  Now I’m training for trail races.  A 50k is in my future.”   As I respond to comments on my hm running jacket that I wear EVERYWHERE !  … yes, add the jacket..and it’s like throwing gasoline on an already blazing fire.

So… imagine my surprise when I had to sit in my saddle for most of the Spinning class.  Actual thoughts went through my head wondering if it was a normal feeling to want to vomit ? Reality checks are good. Even needed. I’m not too proud to say that a piece of Humble pie is exactly what my mind was craving.  I need to be kept in check…but at the same time reminding myself how far I’ve come.  A work in progress….always.

ONE more crazy realization….

That ” Humble Pie” …is an actual PIE!

1 unbaked pie shell, fit into a pie pan (made from scratch or purchased)




  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
  2. Peel, core and dice apples.
  3. Mix with the cranberries and brown sugar.
  4. Place into pie shell.
  5. Place the walnuts in a processor and pulse for 5 seconds.
  6. Add the remaining ingredients and pulse until blended but still crumbly. (You can also chop the nuts by hand with the back of a large spoon and blend them with the rest of the ingredients.).
  7. Spoon topping over the pie and bake for 20 minutes at 425 degrees, then turn oven down to 350 degrees and bake for 30 minutes more.
  8. Cover top with foil to prevent from darkening too much.
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The Goal … And the Price to get it ?

I want to run an Ultra- Trail Race.  There it is ! No reason to build it up with suspense for some non fulfilling climax.  A 50k to be exact.  Why or how I picked that race? Not really sure.  I think it’s as simple as …I’ve done a half marathon, the next expected race for me would be the marathon.  I hate doing expected and assuming.  If I’m going to do 26.2 , why not just be a bit of an over achiever and go for the 31 ? Of course there’s always the 50 miler or 100k …but let’s be honest…that’s just fucking nuts ! ( keep checking back to see when I decide to lose my mind )

The half marathon for me was pretty cut and dry.  Find a plan, and then work the plan.  The 50k trail has so many more aspects.  It’s not just about going the distance, but being able to tolerate the time on your feet and fueling your body properly.  There is a lot that goes into preparing for an Ultra.  I have a few added challenges, because I’m still learning my tiny belly and what it can handle during  endurance training.  I want to prepare properly and finish…alive.  A ” DNF”… is something that is not an option.  I will NOT work months, greet race day with a competitive smile and then go home with a DNF…nope.

So here I am… kind of walking around in circles, a tiny bit lost.  Where do I start?? I’m thinking of following a marathon training plan, incorporating strength training, and then will have to start digging into nutritional needs.  Will I need a crew ? With all of the info on the web…I can’t seem to find a true Beginners Ultra training plan that covers everything.  Into my crazy thought process I find Elizabeth  a trainer in my area that does just this type of thing.  Training for whatever your adventure/endurance goal may be.  I will call her “Liz” to protect her identity.    Liz is an Ultra running pro with many 100 mile races under her belt.  Do I go as far as spending some $$ on someone who is versed in this whole craziness or tackle this myself ?  How much is reasonable to invest in my crazy goal ?

Trainer or No Trainer ??

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Filling the void…

With running.  I guess that’s what I’m doing.?  It’s no secret that food was my ” go to” for EVERYTHING.  Happy? = EAT. Sad ? = EAT. What to do for fun? = Let’s go out and EAT!   So of course, Thanksgiving  had always been one of my favorite holidays.  Everyone is EXPECTED to stuff their faces until close to vomiting.  I would wake up thinking about all of the different foods that I would be able to consume.  Truly a love affair.  I’m not proud…but I am being honest.

The holiday didn’t have the same intrigue as it once did.  How could it, now with my tiny belly?  Having surgery to lose weight is so much more involved, then making your stomach smaller, eating less and losing weight.  If anyone tells you it’s less than a total mind fuck they are being less than honest with you.  Would I have done things differently ? Besides having it done sooner….absolutely not.  But it’s still a struggle. 

Who would’ve thought that my new first thought when waking up on Thanksgiving morning would be…” my god, it’s a perfect day for a run! Hope I have time to get in 6.”    Getting in 8 ? ….Yes, I am Thankful ! I’m thankful that I have found something to distract my mind and fill whatever void is left from all the crap I used to throw into my body just for the sport of it.

Often people will ask ” Why?” ….why do you want to run that far? Why do you want to race? I just don’t get it….I realize that’s so much more complicated to explain than I realized…

…Because now that I’m not carrying around 100 extra lbs…it’s kind of enjoyable.

…. Because it’s cheaper than therapy..

… Because it takes my mind away from the fact that my eating issues were an addiction…once an addict, always an addict..the fight is daily….running is my ” AA” ..

… Because I have never felt anything better than the wind on my face…and the pounding of my feet on the dirt… and If I happen to splash in a puddle and get my socks dirty…even better !!

…finally…because I CAN ! Because something, someone blessed me with the opportunity to wake up another morning…to push myself just a bit further than I did the day before, and I’m not  wasting one moment with regrets that I didn’t ..

Find what you’re missing….and fill it with something that makes you whole again!

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Fight Club ..

Why am I associating my new (beginners) running club with ..Fight Club ?? I have NO idea…but I am !  For some reason every time I think about or mention “running club” – Fight Club pops in my head.  Crazy..I’ve never even seen the movie ! Maybe it’s my inner struggle that sublimely keeps telling me to keep fighting? or..maybe I just want to  feel cool like the guys in Fight Club?  ( that’s probably more like it )

Anyway…last night was my first meeting with the group.  The first actual meeting was last week, but like all of you know I was in Boston.  Of course at the beginning it was just like I kind of feared it would be.  Everyone seemed to make fast friends last week, and were all chatting it up about last week, their runs for the week, who is now BFF’s with who…bla bla.  There seemed to have  been clique’s already.  Now if I knew that last week was the official “bonding” session and everyone would fastly <( don’t think this is an actual word, but I like it just the same ) fall in love with one another I would have flew home early from Boston to be apart of the love fest.  So I’m definetly probably being overly a little over dramatic, but it was a little disappointing.  No worries though…I migrated to a group ( the larger people, who looks like they might be on the slower side group) and chimed in with a witty line.  ” ummm, soooo…how long did you guys run for last week?”   Ok…maybe not so witty, but at least I was talking to a group…now known as the ” cool kids group” !

So fight club was a rude awakening to just how out of shape I truly am.  But as we were running ( and I was about to collapse ) one of the girls mentioned that she just ran her first 5K…and then corrected herself and said ” well more like walked and stumbled my first 5K ” and I KNEW I was in the right group. :)

Tomorrow night is the clubs April meeting and I would actually love to go..but I have a work thing at night, so I can’t.  I’m really hoping to get involved as much as I can, and feel comfortable with because It feels kind of cool to be a part of a “club”.  Am I dork? …maybe….but that won’t stop me from ordering a official club jacket !! lol

It’s kind of funny.  From all of the running blogs that I read of my blogging friends, sometimes I feel like a running expert ( in my mind only of course! ).   Whether it’s about marathons, the benefits of running, or even barefoot running..I feel like I know it all.  In my mind I run effortlessly…( for more than 4 minutes at a clip), 5K’s seem totally doable and my 1/2 marathon is not out of the question.  BUT…once I start shuffling these feet, I’m smacked in the face by reality.  Either way…. my loyal followers keep pushing me on, and I thank you!!

“Hey, you created me. I didn’t create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!”

-Fight Club

** This post was from April 2010-  What a difference a year and a half can make. 

My first half marathon 9/2011

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Self Absorbent ? …

Of COURSE it is !!!

Blogging is the greatest way to ramble on about your thoughts, interests , feelings…you ! Obviously others will hopefully search out your same interests and read you… but either way, you are out there.  Not only are you out there with all of your glorious insight.  But YOU are the MASTER of this world ! You are the expert on each and every topic that you choose to talk about..and obviously they are ALL interesting, other wise you wouldn’t be writing about it.

I used to do a Blog before my Gastric Bypass Surgery. ” Phat Girl Running” .  It was a great way to keep on track with my goals…until I gave up on them and threw in the towel.  That was 2 years ago that I stopped blogging. ( I think…I honestly can’t remember anything, and am way too lazy to look. ) But ever since..I’m always writing, talking in my own mind.  And I know that there’s no way for you to truly know this….but it always sounds so perfect and poetic in my own head! None the less… I’m back. I just couldn’t stay away any longer. Who would want to really ? A world where you call ALL the shots.  I get to say what I want…and my opinion always over rules.  I get to keep all of the comments that boast about how I’m a genius and delete all of the others.

Obviously, I mock a bit.  But what better form of flattery than mockery ? Wait… can you flatter yourself ? Hmmm…I think I might have that whole line a bit confused.

Welcome to my mind…

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Planning the plan..

Is a pain in the ASS !!  …I feel like I’ve been planning my workout schedule for weeks, when it’s realistically only been a day.  I’m determined to be productive at the gym and go in there with a mission.  I’m going to call this plan… ” Fight the hideous Flabby Arm Fat” mission! .. So yea, I Really want to take the cold, dreary weather and make it a productive season.  Put my ass in the gym and sweat it off !

I bought ” The New Rules of Lifting for Women” book probably 2 years ago.  I started the program half ass…but am ready to give it another go.  It really does take  some planning and time to get their schedule down.  But I did most of the work 2 years ago and still have all of my sticky notes and tabs hanging in the book.

Because I know that world yearns to know how I make this body sweat…I will update soon with my revamped workout schedule with an emphasis on Fighting the Hideous Flabby Arm Fat …

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Setting the stage

I’ve been putting this off for a long while.  Two years long.  Getting back into the blogging scene.

I’m constantly thinking…my mind always moving, writing…but the work of a successful blog is just that. Work!  It takes a lot of dedication, time, follow through to keep it current.  But with the many requests to hear my mind ( hey, it’s MY blog! ha ) I have decided  to jump back into this all consuming world.   More so than anything I love to hear others that share my same trials, and hear their successes.  Keeps me focused and reminded that all things really are possible.  Our success in our goals will be fueled by the attitude we put into them.  The more positive and driven… the bigger the fire.  All I can say to 2012 is ” Burn baby burn !” 😉

Oh …and yes, I am the queen of corny inspirational rambles !